Jessica's Blog

Ok, so we open in two weeks… ahhhh! Usually i am not nervous this early but the show’s still in rough shape. I think in an earlier entry i mentioned I was frustrated because of the speed of different individuals processes but Iwas trying to be optimistic that it would all even out eventually…
Well, it is getting there but something I didn’t think about, is that when you are at a point in rehearsal when it’s not about knowing lines or where you want to go but just playing and acting and other people aren’t there yet it can really be discouraging. Of course i still have a lot of work to do, since i have made a goal of being very precise with my work in this play, but it’s hard at the end of the night when you just can’t figure out what was wrong even though you’ve been giving one hundred percent.
Sometimes i get the feeling that I am one of the only ones in the castwho is truly enjoying this. Sure, it is hard work but it’s fun and fulfilling work- at least to me. I just ask myself why are people doing this, if they are dragging themselves to rehearsal and have a solemn face all night? I know that people have obstacles and struggles but something we learn very early in acting class is to leave your junk (the actual word has been watered down for blogging purposes) at the door.
I love acting. I love the performances but i also love the process. being creative and exchanging ideas, coming to a common demoninator with your scene partners and director on how to best tell the story. Sure, I am exhausted but I know why. Noone is being forced to act (except maybe the little kids in commercials with stage-moms pushing them towards their own unfulfilled dreams). But as Drew Kahn, one of our acting teachers always says, we are putting on plays, not “seriouses”.
No I’m not cheery all the time, no I don’t always have everything always figured out. But I can honestly say I am trying very hard. Sometimes I feel like the world is full of people who aren’t really putting everything into the things they do, including theatre. And that’s where it gets frustrating for me, knowing a project could be very good but watching it become mediocre because of a lack of commitment. Noone told me this blogging thing would become a therapeutic venting tool…. :)

Posted by Jessica at 12:39 PM |