Ok well today was kind of disappointing. Friday I auditioned for the new outreach, recruit program. I really thought I had done well and I still believe I have everything it would take to perform in the program. However, I did not get in. I really don’t know why and I understand I shouldn’t dwell on not being cast, but it still makes me upset. I really wanted to do it and I know I would do a great job. I guess I just shouldn’t have set my heart on getting in. I am acting in Gerry’s movement class, but other than that I do not get to work on my acting.
Our professors always tell us to find ways to act, put something together ourselves, do a Thursday series, but in reality that is not that easy. It is a good idea to do student run work, but finding people who will fully commit to the show is difficult. People put other shows or activities first. If I am going to work on something I don’t want to do a crappy job. I understand everyone is busy. I am extremely busy as well, but I know working with friends that we don’t always get work done. Other things get in the way. It is hard to be disciplined.
I want to be a great stage manager, but I have always wanted to perform. The work needed to successfully stage manage has gotten in the way of my possiblity of performing. Also, I only one acting class this semester, it is helping me grow as an actor, but I want more. To be a good performer, one must perform. Sometime this semester I would like the chance to act outside the confines of my tiny apartment. Singing in the shower is not acting. I don’t want to sound as if everything is always rough, but it is easy to share the hardships of this major and of my academic career with everyone here.
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