May 23, 2009
Chapter !: The Road
Why didn’t America make smaller States!! It had to have sucked to go over the oregon trail, cause it sure sucked driving. First off, Ohio is way too long!. This is a text i sent my girlfriend about Ohio: “Baby Throughout the good times, the bad times, and everything in between, Promise me, we will never live in Ohio, it’s depressing!!”
During Spring Break, Three friends and I took the South Route and drove cross country, it was one of the greatest experiences of my life, but it was because I was with my friends and we stopped at the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, Palm Springs, and bunch of other stuff. But this time I drove the North Route with my grandpa, word of advice, don’t drive with an old person!, because they have to go to the bathroom every hour on the hour. I mean I sincerley love my grandpa, but I hate his kidneys and bladder control. We stopped at six different rest stops in Ohio just so he could whiz.
Based on driving the North and South Route, here’s a short description of each State I’ve been in.
New York - No Comment.
Pennsylvania - I only like you, cause I can buy fire works from you.
Iowa - Where are all the potatoes I’ve been hearing about?
Illinois - Yay for Chicago!
Arizona - Eh
Colorado - cool mountains, too long!
Utah - it’s like cotton candy, good when you first get it, but then you wanna throw it out towards the end.
Oklahoma - Oh My God, This state should be taken out the USA!!! I’d rather be shot in the ass than drive thru Oklahoma again.
Nevada - Only good for one thing, Vegas.
Texas - Yee Haw! (good chorizo)
New Mexico - Beautiful! Maybe the most gorgeous state I’ll ever see.
California - a little over hyped, but it’s still nice.
So yeah if your gonna travel across America, do it the right way, with some friends and money to spend, don’t go with an old man who pees all the time. - Jordan